


Red

by kwanbutt



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, relationship can be seen as platonic or romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 17:02:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10926189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwanbutt/pseuds/kwanbutt
Summary: Red.What an amazing color.Right?





	Red

**Author's Note:**

> its 3 am, im vent writing  
> i havent really checked much so please excuse bad spellings and the like

Chan loved the color red.  
It was the color that gave silence.  
The color that appeared whenever he needed calm and comfort, which was hard to find these days. Nothing gave him comfort as much as red did.

Red droplets as he broke his skin, small at first, but quickly growing in size.  
Red streaks as he dragged his hands over his legs, staining them.

He loved it.

Seeing his hands covered in red like this, it gave him a sense of peace.

Maybe he was insane, he probably was. No normal person was awake at 3 in the morning, tearing themselves apart, covered in their own blood, and _enjoying_ it.

He watched as drops of red slowly crept down his legs. He revelled in the feeling, stinging, pain. It hurt.

He liked it.

He sat on the floor, the blood slowly drying, leaving behind streaks and scabs.  
He felt peaceful, for a while.

Despair crept in slowly, before suddenly hitting him full force.

He felt pathetic.  
Sitting on the floor of a bathroom at almost 4 in the morning now, covered in red. That stupid red.

He didn't like it.

Someone knocked.  
"Chan?"

Panic hit him. He tried desperately to respond calmly, but he couldn't.

The door opened.  
He should have locked it.

Soonyoung.

Chan looked him right in his eyes, seeing a thousand emotions flash over his face within what seemed like a single second.

He couldn't breathe.

And suddenly, he was surrounded by warmth, a familiar smell.

Soonyoung held him  
He broke.

His chest felt heavy, tight, painful, like someone was holding his heart and squeezing it with all their might.

He tried to apologize through sobs into Soonyoung's shoulder.  
Soonyoung just held him, telling him the same things over and over:  
"It's okay, you're okay. I love you"

His words were so full of care, so full of love.

He regretted ever leaving his bed, setting foot in the bathroom. He regretted ever tearing himself apart, covering himself in red. That disgusting, hideous red.

He hated it.

Chan hated the color red.  
It was the color of pain and despair. The color of failure and hopelessness.  
It was the only thing that could give him peace these days, but at the cost of being temporary, while leaving behind permanent marks.  
Despite that, he still couldn't stop, he was addicted.

Fuck his life, right.


End file.
